(i really need to start keeping this as like, a journal. i have been severely depressed and reclusive since the election last year. it is problematic; i have gained 30lbs. i am ashamed of my appearance/weight gain, to the point i don’t want to see friends or family members. i don’t want to leave the house to even get groceries. i dropped out of school. maybe this will help, idk. i often say i’m going to start keeping a journal again (stopped when i was 17/18 after my parents searched for, found, and read my journal. i am still bitter about it to this day, though i don’t hold it against them).
I used to think I was the strangest person in the world
but then I thought, there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do
I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too.
well, I hope that if you are out there you read this and know that yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.
i am so sad from the orlando shooting 😦 it’s really surprising to me how upset i am, even almost two days later. i almost feel like i’m putting up some sort of show, but i’d rather hide my tears than tell anyone about it. i just can’t figure out how our fucking country has gotten this way.
not sure what else to say. i’m taking five summer classes and should be doing homework. ironically, i’m taking american minorities.
ah, the oft considered but generally unsaid (untyped?) threat the internet friendship ban-hammer. spooky! not to mention, i’ve known this guy 22+ years – he is like a second dad to me.
i couldn’t decide whether or not i should respond to this ridiculous ‘comment’ — i am using Fb’s jargon, although in reality, it’s actually an amusing, not at all veiled threat.
have you read my last entry?
i saw this infographic this weekend. it is informative and upfront, but not exactly surprising information. sometimes though, it is nice (or not?) to be able to legitimize one’s disdain regarding a social problem with cold, hard data.
the article says: “Drug companies justify the high prices they charge by arguing that their research and development (R&D) costs are huge. On average, only three in 10 drugs launched are profitable, with one of those going on to be a blockbuster with $1bn-plus revenues a year. Many more do not even make it to market. But as the table below shows, drug companies spend far more on marketing drugs – in some cases twice as much – than on developing them. And besides, profit margins take into account R&D costs.” source
maybe, potentially, there are arguments to be made in defense of pharmaceutical companies… but, consider GlaxoSmithKline: this company spends nearly twice as much on advertising as it does on R&D (9.9% vs 5.3%), and is being fined almost $500 MILLION for bribery in China! source
keep in mind, $500 million is 4.4% of the R&D budget alone. 4.4% of anything may sound like chump change, but what doesn’t when you’re talking about tens of billions of dollars? this is just another example of what Heiner/our books calls “the relatively extreme form of capitalism that is found in the United States”. (pg 28)
i rant way too much on Facebook. i try to keep it to a reasonable level, but when people push my buttons or say stupid shit i just cannot keep my mouth shut. i am going to start cataloging my rants here, and perhaps i will try posting them ONLY here so i don’t end up seeming like some psycho liberal whatever. even though i guess i really am, lol.
if donald trump is elected president i will apply for asylum to canada.
so this makes me wonder… am i a dick for posting this? well, yes…
but i guess what i should be asking is if i’m a hypocrite. is this comparable to saying “well maybe Eric Garner shouldn’t have been selling loosies”? is it only okay to mock tragedy in a case where it supports my cause? would i be condemning the person (at least in my mind) who snarkily remarks on Fb that Mike Brown committed a crime, which led is what led to his death?
or do i get a pass because reverse racism isn’t a thing, so it’s not as damaging when non-minorities are put down in the media?
why am i assuming these people are/were white, anyway?
When I look at myself, I look at form as a function of function. When I look at others I look at their form as a function of lifestyle. I see body builders invested in growing more lines, I see large people, and their resilience of what they cope with. I see skinny people, and their frailty and their needs worn on the outside of their bodies.